Testimony: Witness; Evidence; Proof of Some Fact

Dear Loved One,

If you are reading this letter from me it is because I have been praying for you and God cares for you. My prayer is you will know as you read my testimony, that it comes from my heart, to yours with very much love. I want to share with you my journey in coming to know God and His great love for us all, and how it all begins with each one of us personally, if we will come to trust in Jesus as our Savior.

Several years ago my life changed and continues to do so because of simple prayer offered to God in Faith. At a very difficult time in my life, I had been experiencing an increasing awareness that I needed and wanted to know and believe in God, but I was puzzled about how to get there. I knew Jesus was an important piece to solve that puzzle, but I did not understand how. At this time I was slightly aware of some of the truths of who Jesus claimed to be; the Son of God, God who became flesh, who died on a cross for our sin, was resurrected, ascended to heaven, and is coming again. However, I had not been able to trust and believe these truths with all my heart. Frankly, I had been afraid to. I did not completely understand what these things really meant, and even though I wanted to believe I seemed to lack the ability to really let go and completely trust.

Before receiving Christ as my Savior, when I struggled with depression, loneliness, nightmares, and feelings of worthlessness, I found no real relief. I felt sure that somehow my life had some worth, but I was not quite sure what that was.Was I going to find it in a career, in a husband, a family of my own? I had family that loved me, but even those we love can not full fill our deepest needs. One of the greatest lessons God has taught me is that now when I experience trials inside and outside of myself, I can turn to Him and be strengthened rather than falling into despair or destructive coping skills.Like many people do, I had some painful childhood struggles, and I was trying to cope with these wounds in unhealthy ways. I turned my hurts in toward myself. It was like I was going through life punishing myself. Alcohol, drug use, and unhealthy relationships with men, only added to my shame. What I needed was forgiveness for others and for myself. I needed the vicious cycle of self abuse to stop.I felt so lost, and with good reason. My broken heart knew I needed God’s help. After going my own way for so many years, I began understanding I was not only hurting myself, but breaking God’s heart as well. However, I had doubts and questions and was slow to admit that I needed Jesus. Bit by bit I began to understand and admit to myself that many things I had justified doing for so long were causing me pain and trouble. I was not ready to confess these behaviors as being sinful just yet, but God was gently calling me to do so, and to come to Him for forgiveness and for new life.

I had come to a very low point in my life, in my late twenties. I was just trying to make it through each day. I was suicidal, and felt despair and trouble on every side. I was not finding relief in the things I normally did. I believe God was really beginning to pull me toward Him. None of my coping skills were working anymore. Nothing was satisfying me, and I was desperate for relief! After much wrestling in my heart, one day, I finally turned to God the best I knew how. I knelt down in my room, and prayed: “I want to know you God. I want to understand who Jesus is. Please teach me. I want to change, but I have not been able to change myself." I had come to realize after trying to change and fix myself up for so long, that it was absolutely impossible for me to do this without His help. I had told God that I wanted to know and understand who Jesus was. I genuinely wanted to know God, and wanted to have faith in Christ. Indeed, God answered that prayer. That day was the beginning of coming to know that through faith in Christ, I could begin a relationship with my heavenly Father. He wanted to forgive my sins, and allow me to have an intimate relationship with Him in this life and in the one to come.

Though I had finally turned to the Lord as best I knew how, I was still full of questions and doubts, and without a clear idea of what Jesus did for me. However, it did not matter that I still had questions. I was going to trust that God would make those answers clear to me in time, and He was faithful to do that. Over the next couple of years my faith kept growing. I know God was supplying me,(and continues to supply me), with the faith, understanding, and power that I lacked in order to believe, trust, and change.He will never turn away the prayer of a sincere heart that knows its need for God. I just wanted to belong to Him, belong to Christ once and for all. I was tired of my questions and my unbelief, and even though I did not completely understand, I yielded my heart to Him. It took prayer, asking God some hard questions, wrestling with doubt, and ultimately looking into the Bible for answers, before I really understood what Jesus did for me on the cross. However, God was so faithful to bring me into the understanding of these things. Once I had a clearer idea of what Jesus did for me, and why, I was able to really trust Him, and confess Him as my Savior and Lord once and for all.That first time I prayed in my room I was asking Him to help me believe, but now God had revealed Jesus to me and I was ready. That meant I was willing to trust in Jesus for my forgiveness, and also to commit my life to follow and obey Him. I at last confessed that yes, I was a sinner, and I asked Jesus to save and forgive me. I knew that I no longer wanted to resist God and was ready to make a full commitment. "I am asking you Jesus to forgive me and change me. I give you my life. I trust you. I want to obey and follow you." In faith, I fully committed my whole heart to Him. I was born for a second time, and given spiritual life as child of God. Jesus took the punishment for our sins upon Himself 2000 yrs. ago, but that day I received the benefit of His promise: “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life." I like to put it this way: For God so loved (your name here) that he gave his one and only Son that if (your name here) believes in him (your name here) shall not perish but have eternal life. - John 3:16

I had put faith in Christ, and that was the first wonderful step, but now I needed to learn and grow in the Lord, just like a new-born baby would. The first few months of my new faith in Christ were wrought with a lot of spiritual wrestling. I had to battle with fear and doubt about my decision. However, I can look back now and see how God was using these struggles to grow me, so I could stand firmly in what I believed."The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and discipline."Proverbs 7:1 Some of my fears came from knowing the world scoffed at the name of Christ as much now as it did 2000 years ago when they put a crown of thorns on His head and crucified Him to a tree, I had scoffed at His Children before myself. Did I really want to experience that kind of rejection? I struggled with that for some time. This fear made it hard for me to share with others my decision, and hard to grow closer to God, but as I brought these fears and struggles to God in prayer He was again faithful to remind and keep revealing to me His awesome love and reality. As God began to reveal Himself to me through His word the Bible, through the circumstances of my life, through answered prayer, and other Christians, I came to experience His love and guidance, and I began to be able to trust Him more and more. This gave me confidence to be able to confess Him to others and rest more securely in His love for me. I began to experience God more and more as a loving father, caring and providing for my deepest needs. I learned when doubt creeps in I can come to the Lord asking Him for the faith I need and confess to Him my struggles. I am often reminded of this comforting truth in His word: “…I will never leave you nor forsake you” –Hebrews 13:5. Once we come to Jesus nothing can take us away from Him: "I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; no one can snatch them out of my hand.-John10:28

As I began to read my Bible, and pray, the Lord gave me greater and greater understanding. I was beginning to trust Him more than my doubts. As the months passed I was able to see a change was taking place in me. I no longer had the desires to do the sinful things I used to do. God used other Christians to encourage and love me, but He did not allow me to become overly dependent on human beings for my confidence. Humans are imperfect, even Christian ones, and God knew I had spent enough time looking to people for acceptance and approval my whole life. It was time to rely on Christ alone for my significance. I was loved and cared for, encouraged and prayed for, but God kept my eyes on Him and not on people. God wants us to look to His Son Jesus. Then we can become whole people who learn how to give to and genuinely love others, not just take from them. As I confessed Christ to others and what He was doing in my life, some rejection and persecution came, but God gave me strength to go on, encouraging and comforting me, and so my Faith would strengthen again. “Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. James 1:2-4.

My life has not been the same since the day I gave my heart to Christ. God has been faithful to reveal His truth to me, His desires, and His character, and love for me. I grow in that understanding everyday, learning to give Him more and more of myself, my needs and fears. He provides for His children all they need to serve Him, the understanding, the courage, the Joy, even the Faith. As we cast all our cares and burdens on Jesus, confessing our sins, He cleanses us, heals us, and restores us. Whatever we lack, or feel too weak or fearful to accomplish, He can supply our need. I am now His and will be forevermore. I no longer have to be afraid of what is beyond death or anything in this life because He will never leave or forsake any one who comes to Him. John 6:37 “Every one whom the Father gives me will come to me, and him who comes to me I will never on any account drive away.”

If I had continued ignoring the God who loves and created us all; I would have never known the sweet awe of answered prayer, the still soft voice of His guiding wisdom, the awesome joy of His presence, His deep compassion and forgiveness when I mess up and feel ashamed, or His comforting presence in loneliness. I would not know the strength He can give me when I go to Him in my darkest weakest hours, or the peace that surpasses all understanding that comes when I am humbled, ready to confess my failures and thank Him for His love. I would not know His loving correction, or His challenge and strength to keep going in the face of adversity and failure. I would not know the awesome security and assurance that comes from understanding His word, the Bible. I would not know the ability to rely on Him in faith and watch Him provide for my needs, or the ability to trust Him even when things do not work out the way I had hoped. I would not know the power to love people who do not love me back, or the freedom of not dreading death because I will be with Jesus, yet I am content to be alive because He is with me. I would have missed the blessing of watching Him piece together my life and work big and small miracles every day in the lives of those who believe in Him. Accepting Christ as my Savior did not guarantee me an easy life free from trouble, but it has given me gifts of immeasurable value. I invite you to consider Jesus’ love for you today. Why would anyone not want to know the living God?

If I had never asked Christ to be my Savior, I would have remained lost, always searching, but never being satisfied. Without Jesus having taken my punishment upon himself, I would have received the punishment of all my sins when I stand before God someday. We will all stand before God someday. Many people believe they are good enough to go to heaven, but God clearly tells us we are all guilty of sin. Romans 3:23 says, “For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God." Jesus was the only perfect One and that is why we need to trust Him to make us clean before God. 1 John 1:9 tells us, "If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness." That is why Jesus said in John14:6" ..., "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me." No human is without sin, and all sin great and small will be punished for eternity in hell, unless we will receive forgiveness through faith in Jesus, because He was punished in our place.

God is loving and merciful, but He is also perfect and just. Like any good judge He must punish sin. Romans 6:23 “For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.” God however does not desire eternal hell and punishment for anyone. This is a seeming paradox, but it is true. Romans 5:8, “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” He desires for us to confess our sins and turn to Him through faith in Christ. We can have peace with God, and forgiveness of our sin: Romans 10:9 “That if you confess with your mouth, “Jesus is Lord,” and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.” And Romans 10:13 says, “Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.” When Jesus died he took the punishment for all our sins upon himself. When we admit our sinful state and trust in Christ to forgive our sins, we will be saved. That is the simple truth.

We do not have to be separated from God in this life or for eternity, because Christ made a way for us. He wants to save us all, but we have free will and we have to decide individually if we want to receive His pardon. I have the confidence to share these truths with you because I have experienced God to be real, true, and trustworthy. I have learned first hand that God is willing and able to provide for us, comfort and guide us, give wisdom, love us, correct us, and best of all forgive and change us into the people He created us to be . Our heavenly Father indeed! He is still doing His work in my heart today. "Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me." –Philippians 3:12. “Being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” -Philippians 1:6 I pray you'll be blessed by what you read today. God loves you!!!!